The culmination of about three weeks' worth of crazed research has lead me to the purchasing of my very first netbook. It is this:
The Asus eee pc 1005peb. It's working out really well. I'm in the middle of getting everything set up to where I want it to be right now, actually. But I did turn away from it for a moment, and it fell asleep.
It fell asleep. And then started playing elevator music. I can't decide whether that is awesome or horrifying.
Either way, that feature is getting turned off NOW.